Recently in For the Birds Category

I was at the library the other day multitasking.
Because that's what libraries are for, right?

Writing recipes, looking for design inspiration while simultaneously reading TITANIC TRUCKS to the boy running through the stacked aisles. I was beginning to think that a vacation might be something to consider when all of the sudden books started screaming and jumping off the shelves -- dangerously missing my head... I grabbed Will and dove under the nearest table. The piles of books surrounded us as one manuscript fell open at my knees... it was Poe, "I am above the weakness of seeking to establish a sequence of cause and effect, between the disaster and the atrocity." It was then that I realized that something needed to be done immediately... Because I have reached the final point, and this is it. I am dangerously approaching the end of my blogging quota.

Visualize this to be like filling a water balloon to capacity or eating copious amounts of McDonald's like this guy did a few years ago... only to result in weight gain, heart disease, ulcers and bad skin.... because what did he think was going to happen? I wonder if he wishes that he could go back and undo -- kind of like going back and picking through - deleting the bad blog posts while copying and saving the good ones for republishing possibilities... revitalizing the QUOTA. But oh the HUMANITY.

I started For the Birds on August 22, 2008. It was a slow start... and, although I never intended for this blog to turn into what it is now... it has been a journey like no other... similar to swimming across the Atlantic or leaving the space shuttle mid-universe to test out that gravity theory... floating aimlessly into DEEP SPACE. And if you know what this blog is about, then you're a hair-slight more genius than I, because I lost track a LOOOONG time ago. But I am missing the point.

What I am trying to inch out there is that I am now starting the tedious task of going back, judging myself and then deciding who gets to stay and who gets to go hang out at the pearly gates of archival heaven. But what do you think? If you are here, reading this right now -- If you wouldn't mind turning time off for a few minutes and letting me know if there are any posts that must stay live... Because beyond self-inflicted torture, I am my own souvenir. And I'm sure that isn't the first time I've said that.   

Amanda Miller and I met at that little virtual world cafe on the corner where perfection runs deep among the critics of the blogosphere. Miller, a quick wit and major speed-resistant rising star of the internet publishing world with TWO blogs to boast and gobs of material to share, takes a sip of her Meyer lemon iced water... The interview begins.

So... Amanda, Why California? I fell in love with San Francisco on a visit when I was 18 and told myself I would eventually move there. My husband and I were married overlooking the San Francisco bay, we actually eloped. I would like to leave though, 10 years is too long to stay in one spot. I get antsy. Do you think that France will be the next destination? Eloping sounds fun - was your family mad?  I would say France or Italy. Just got my Italian citizenship (my kids as well) so now I can vote over there. For what, I don't know. I can't even speak the language. Oh I forgot about Amsterdam. I love Amsterdam... As for eloping, my family wasn't mad, don't think they even noticed.

How would you describe yourself in three words? Determined, Lazy, Decisive. Are you a Gemini? No, I'm a Taurus. Why? What does that mean? I'm not familiar with astrology speak. Am I going to die soon? I'm not that into Astrology either but Geminis typically flip flop between determined and lazy - I know this because my husband and I are both Geminis...In a sea of incomplete projects - determined to get it done, but then too lazy. Not sure if you're going to die soon... I hope not! Well my husband is an Aquarius and he's lazy too. Sounds like we're all just a bunch of incredibly smart, funny and talented lazy people. Ha!

If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be? Japanese Maple. How very determined, lazy and decisive of you.

What is your favorite color? Do I have to pick just one? Okay, black. No, white. Final answer? I don't have one. Did you know that both white and black are not actual colors? Instead they are "states of being" as in space. The percentage values are either 100% or 0%. Black is my favorite color too. Why yes I did know that but could have never put it as eloquently as you just did. Speaking of absence of color, my next project will be painting my living room black. Exciting!

Why is the stop sign an octagon? That's an odd question. I really don't know and not sure that I really need to know. Some things are just better left a mystery. Agreed. This question came from the IQ test you challenged me on @Twitter. (kidding) Ha ha.

What kind of people do you dislike? People without a sense of humor. People who don't like cats. Come on, it's a cute kitty, what's not to like? Crazy religious preachy people who believe their God and our government should mix. People who don't wash their hands after using the bathroom. I'm not too fond of most people. So... France would work well for you--sans the hand washing habits. Really? They don't wash their hands in France? I know the men sometimes pee in the streets. I don't know, I suppose I'd be too busy drinking wine and buying berets to even notice. I'm sure that they wash their hands in France. A good friend of mine and I were flashed by... Well, a Flasher, in a Paris Metro tunnel - This was after an awesome stay and on our way to the airport to leave... so my lasting impression is somewhat jarred.  I think that would be a wonderful way to end a stay in Paris. Just icing on the cake...

What is your favorite drink? If I'm drinking alcohol my choice is champagne. I could drink it every day. Have you ever tried champagne with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? It's quite good. Otherwise I like ice water with a wedge of Meyer lemon. Don't the bubbles go to your head? Ice water with lemon makes you sound super healthy.  That's the point, no? Yes, I try and be healthy so I'll drink my delightful ice water and then proceed to shove four cupcakes into my mouth. Organic of course.

Who would you like to see play the lead role as you? I'd have to go with Marlon Brando. Wait, he's a guy, right? And dead. Okay then I'll say Zooey Deschanel. Yes, she's a little younger than me but movies are just pretend anyway so let's pretend she's exactly my age. (laughing) ZD is my virtual "I don't know this person" image of you. Weird!  That is weird! I am way older though, so enjoy that image of Miss Zooey. Good thing you didn't say Marlon Brando... I picture you as the girl from the Twilight movie (never saw it, just read the tabloid garbage) You know, the one rumored to be dating the hot English vampire. Ha ha--I haven't read it either but I am interested in this new teenage surge of over-sexed vampires. Like it's a new concept? How can you possibly be way older than Zooey? I think I might be way older than you. Well according to Internet (and we all know it never lies) Zooey was born in 1980. And I was not. Is this a sneaky way of you trying to get me to reveal my age? For some reason I hate telling people how old I am. Getting older sucks.

What would I find in your refrigerator right now? Hummus, every yogurt under the sun, shriveled up basil, duck and sweet potato dog food (my dog is well taken care of) Irish butter, almond milk, cows milk, a beautiful bunch of baby carrots I need to use before they go rotten, whipped cream, peanut butter, coffee, leftover Indian butter chicken from last night. Just the regular stuff. Regular stuff = Leftover Indian butter chicken? Come on, who doesn't have Indian butter chicken in their fridge? I'm actually on an Indian food kick and have cooked it once a week for the past few weeks. I'm really over it now. Really over it.

What is the last thing you did before answering these questions? Well I started this yesterday and haven't been able to finish because my kids kept pestering me. Some nonsense about rumbling stomachs. So let's see, yesterday I had just emptied the dishwasher and tonight I just cleaned up the dinner plates. See a pattern? Yes - like Laundry, it never ends... Myth of Sisyphus. Say that 10 times really fast...

What inspired you to start your blogs? Well I've always enjoyed writing and once I discovered this thing called "blogging" I knew it was for me, just never had the balls to start my own until last year. Subjects such as art, music and personal dairies like Dooce were my favorites. When I began writing Brilliant Sulk I wasn't sure which direction it was headed. I suppose it has morphed into a "humor blog" but that could all change tomorrow. I'm slightly unpredictable. Do you think that Dooce is a little too "Tell All"--like what else is left? Brilliant Sulk is funny - does that surprise you though? I always find myself a little taken-aback when people call my writing funny. Do people tell you that the blog sounds "like you"? What about Brilliant Spread? The photography is gorgeous. I used to be a huge Dooce fan, not so much anymore. She's a bit too smug and as you say, "Tell All" I aim to be smug and mysterious. Kidding, I'm kidding. I'm not sure I'm really as funny as I am sarcastic. But I suppose it's up to my billions of readers to make that determination.

You know, not many people I know read my blog (Brilliant Sulk) because I haven't told them about it. Is that weird? My mom and husband read it. Maybe I'm embarrassed. Gosh, I have issues. I think I need a good therapist. But I think you and I have similar writing styles. Maybe we should take our act on the road.

My other blog, Brilliant Spread, is great fun because I love taking photos and writing about food. It's a fairly new site that I need to spend some more time working on.

If someone wrote a biography about you, what do you think the title should be? There's a party in my tummy. Nice.

Aside from your Tummy, what motivates you? My kids, art, music, nature. I mentioned before that your photography on Brilliant Spread is, well - brilliant - did you study photography or is it just a thing? Why thank you. Oh, gosh I've always wanted to be a "real" photographer but because I'm so incredibly lazy I never pursued it professionally. I wish I had because I really enjoy it. I suppose it's never too late.

On that "never too late" theme, if you won $20 million in the lottery, what would you do with the money? I'd immediately hop on a plane and travel the world like Brad and Angelina. With or without the 26 kids? Hell no, they can keep those children. I'll take my two girls, two nannies, my husband and we're off. What would I do with my dog and two cats though? I suppose I could bring my dog, but I'd have to hire a full time cat nanny. It would be difficult being rich.

If you were a salad, what kind of dressing would you have? I'm going to have to go with the Italian dressing you get at a steakhouse. The incredibly vinegary kind with chunks of blue cheese. How very determined, lazy and decisive.

If you were written about in the newspaper, on the front page, what would the headline say? She's Innocent! Of what crime? Goat thievery. I would never steal a goat.

What makes you angry? Fluorescent lighting, litterbugs, genetically modified food, Rush Limbaugh, parents who don't watch their kids at the playground, Barney, that stupid giant purple dinosaur. Genetically modified food and giant purple dinosaurs can ruin my day too... have you ever approached a parent not watching their kids? I certainly would approach them but I can never find them! I hate taking my kids to the park but I have to because that would be really mean and they would look even pastier than they do now.

What's the most important part of the sandwich? The bread. If you have terribly stale or tasteless bread the sandwich is completely ruined. And without the bread the sandwich fails to be a sandwich,  I suppose... Exactly.

Can you describe an atom? No. Thank you.

Describe your most rewarding experience to date. Well I suppose the politically correct answer would be the day my kids were born. Or maybe volunteering to bring food and gifts to the elderly every year on Christmas morning. Or all of the animals I've rescued over the years. No, can't say I've had any rewarding experiences to date. I'm waiting. How very determined, lazy and decisive. No really... good things come to those who wait (NYC 2010). How about saving the world while you're at it? I'm far too busy blogging to try and save the world.


(kitty cat photo credit: Image by Peri Apex via Flickr)

We are taking a few days off... getting out of town... fleeing the Hamptons... be prepared to rock out next week with For the Birds first Guest Bird. Hmmm will he/she be a Rooster.. Chicken... Ferruginous Duck... Slaty Egret... Peacock... Black-faced Spoonbill... ?

A few weeks ago For the Birds celebrated it's one year mark -- picture me sitting at the keyboard with a party hat on....vodka bottle rolling on the floor...  silly string still stuck to the monitor.. I mentioned in my post that FTB has built a following with over 20,000 site visitors. This is a rough estimate, because  -- come on, really. You don't think that I actually believe that 20,000+ of you are out there reading these almost daily observations... And thanks to all of the lovely comments that I received pointing this out. Side note, I am not that BOARING Ms. Kelly from Kentucky -- and although you don't know how to spell, I might have better things to do with my time but I choose to do this -- and if it's just not that interesting to you -- then STOP visiting. But, keep checking in if you must, I am into all things that depreciate. 

So, getting to the point, I do know -- thanks to those smart heads over at Feed Burner, that we do have a factual regular readership of 25 concrete, real-live people. That's right - a lovely and lucky 25. And to you I am calling out. In the next few days the following will be happening:

1. For the Birds will turn out the lights for a much needed beauty rest.
2. For the Birds will return, refreshed and better than ever--but only viewable at the new (still shiny) URL - http://forthebirdsblog.com
3. The old ugly domain http://designsigh.typepad.com/forthebirds will GO AWAY, so DON'T GO THERE
4. Those of you that have the old domain/URL in your readers, you will need to change to the new domain.
5. For the Birds will only be accessible from http://forthebirdsblog.com
6. This has very little to do with the evil birders over at forthebirds.com 

Unfortunately, I don't have specific timing on this event--otherwise I would fill you in. But the wheels are in motion. We've checked the logs, Batman, and will make a swift return... So, if you happen to be settling in for the evening, and pull up to FTB for some mild entertainment, please don't be alarmed if you receive some sort of error message or blank screen--We are still here... we are coming back--this has very little to do with the evil birders at forthebirds.com AND, the best is yet to come... More shameless self-promotion of multiple personality abundance -  I want you to know but I don't anxiety disorder...  have I mentioned most of us here are geminis? Any questions? Email me - rmsatbwdstudiodotcom.

I hate that I write lists obsessively (in a series of notebooks that all look alike) but they never seem to make it to the typepad. Here's a taste of randomness that I've been hocking over at Google Reader... There's never enough time in the day...

• The Hygiene Hypothesis... not accurate (shocker)...
• Misszoot might just punch someone.... 
• Need help reading, writing, eating or drawing while you DRIVE? Here's a desktop... This could take texting accidents to a whole new level.. (note the awesome disclaimer)
• The highest rate of nose jobs?? That's right perfect noses in IRAN... I suppose since everything else is SHROUDED.
• Slumping in Dubai... what wouldn't we do to do Dubai (now taking sponsors)
• THIS JUST IN - food allergies can be dangerous. Thanks, Brain Surgeons @ Grand Rapids Press...
• Generation A
• Decorative Brilliance
• A Grand Slam with Mushrooms... Even if you don't like them...
• Laura Ashley on Crack
• Unattended Children Will (and should) be shot...
• Cool Bird Prints (going to this show soon!)
• David the Designer (I'm probably scaring this man)
• AND of course... blah blah blah follow me on Twitter and read my posts @ Artistic Things..Check back randomly—I promise more random lists and almost daily observations.. yadda yadda yadda.

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• Small for Big and Ethan -- the bravest kid in town. (designsigh.typepad.com) FOR THE BIRDS HAS BEEN ZEMANTA'D!
• Paris Hilton will produce BFF shows around the world (realityblurred.com)
• The World has been Cancelled (laf.ee)

This is a follow up to a post made almost exactly one year ago... NOTHING HAS CHANGED.

We live very close to the Peconic Bay and there are ponds near our property that feed off of this Bay. In the ponds we are neighbors to lovely swan families that we follow and watch with love and fear combined... they tend to have anger-management issues. Also along these ponds runs a public road which people treat almost as a park--bike riders, fishing families, walkers... birders all enjoy the road as it winds away from Shinnecock Hills and into the Bay. It is quite lovely which is why it makes me so angry to state the obvious.. PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE SWANS.

Almost every fair weathered morning for the past few years a car (black station wagon Volvo) has pulled up along side of the pond behind our house. The woman driving the vehicle honks her horn upon arrival. When she does this, swans kick their webbed feet into high gear and float to her as fast as possible. With this, she throws her leg over the divider, walks to the edge of the water and DUMPS A BUCKET OF CORN. 

I have fought myself on this situation for a very long time. The corn is not only bad for the Swans, but it has caused a major upset in the natural Audubon order of things... The Swans have become die-hard territorial about her feedings and have actually KILLED OTHER SWANS (4 to be exact) in an effort to remain somewhat DOMESTICATED. I know I said anger-management issues, but this is actually quite a normal reaction for any kind of animal being treated like a pet. 

Now - this is my problem. I can either throw all "respect your elders" caution to the wind and go "speak" to this woman... Or I can continue to spy from the other side of the pond saying DON'T FEED THE SWANS under my breathe while my blood boils.. Or - I can leave a note on her car while she continues on her walk to probably feed other wild creatures... OR I can grab a can of spray paint and ... A year has passed and I still can't deal... Please please please -  DO NOT FEED THE SWANS. 

Year one has passed!

I began publishing For the Birds on this date circa 2008--wow oh wow have things changed since. Initially, For the Birds was to be a marketing tool for Breakwater Design Studio, and although it does serve that purpose, FTB has also opened up whole new worlds for me... Writing and Internet Social Media. Once shunned--Facebook and Twitter are now common tools that promote, engage... Once feared, writing a very public diary of almost daily observations has given me a personal boost that I never could have imagined... Sharing accounts with readers who then become friends with common interests and concerns... And then my favorite -- sharing our lives with existing friends and family scattered all over the world. In short, connections have become a way of life and For the Birds has allowed my family and I to have a mini piece of the pie--actively participating on an almost daily basis.

So, I guess that I need to thank me for jumping into a way of life that I never knew possible... but -- as I take my place at the podium to accept the award for 2009 Ego of the Year--I really thank all the readers... to date a shocking 23,247--even those that hit the website and went "what the f is this" and x'd the browser out... I have kept my word and emailed everyone back that has commented--and I have kept most comments private... knowing that privacy is still a major player in the evolution of For the Birds.

On another note, I really want to acknowledge a few other blogs out there that have given me the courage to share in this open forum... In no particular order:

Dooce
Mighty Girl
Suburban Bliss
Gotham Gal
Designing Moms

I don't think that any of these authors are aware of me or how much they have influenced... If they were aware--I'm sure that restraining orders would be issued. At any rate, I read their posts with the hope that someday FTB will boast it's own URL (damn you--you evil birders at forthebirds.com) and claim a regular readership. Until that day--keep stopping by--I promise generous helpings of almost daily observations... blood, sweat, tears all mixed with a fine selection of mundane tribulations.

PS. If you want to hear me talk more (The floodgates! Typepad you're killing me!)--visit me at Twitter.

Is it just me, or have we hit the dog days of summer? It's suddenly hot -- after being wet and unseasonably cool for months and now it's August? What? And when did July happen? I'm in denial--hot sweaty dehydrated denial.

In other news... 299 tropical bird skins have apparently up and flown away from London's Natural History Museum... Now - I'm always one for a good art heist (as Scotland Yard beats down my door), but bird carcasses? Really? Apparently that's what they are -- just dead bird bodies with feathers--no eyes or internal stuff.... You can read about it here: http://www.timesonline.co.uk. Can you imagine how this happened? In our world of secured insanity... Someone went into the bird carcass area of the ornithological collection in Tring, Hertfordshire -- picked up 299 dead birds... some more than 3 feet long-- and then simply carried them out? There was no gun chase, no bomb scare.. no getaway car... very hush hush and low key...very unbirdlike. Those that cherish these feathers are of course torn to bits over the loss... a catastrophe for the science of bird studies and future generations... Truly a mystery that needs to be solved immediately and authorities are on it... searching high and low, questioning collectors, fashion designers and fly fishing extremists.... but have they considered...

We've lived here on Long Island for ... I want to say 10 years rounding up, but to be precise... 7 years, 6 months and 31 days. All this time I have been walking past the giant blueberry bush in our backyard with curiosity -- but for some strange reason, always assumed that the fruit was poison. "You can't EAT those" I've exclaimed many times... I don't recollect any traumatic near death berry eating experiences -- although I didn't exactly grow up in the woods scrounging for food. And I do love blueberries.

Then for a while I harbored this weird procrastination-like theory that why bother with the blueberry bush -- the birds eat them all anyway... as if I know this for a fact? I imagined myself getting swooped down upon for approaching the fruit once it was ripe... Oh well -- you can't eat them anyway. This year, for whatever reason, it dawned on me that -- they aren't wild blueberries... this is a well groomed -- manicured blueberry bush that must be ... 8 feet tall and probably 10 ft around.... Someone planted it. Obsession kicked in.. and has certainly paid off....

It's not rocket science, but we will treat it as such. We work for you, at your request. You pay us. Once we are paid, we can pay those that we owe. Then the cycle begins again. If you can't pay us, do not request that we work for you.

Sorry. Economy 2008  = Bad behavior.

On a lighter note... We have a Brent swimming in one of our ponds! Apparently rare... this quirky goose (larger than a mallard but smaller than the Canadian honker) has been checking us out just as much as we have been watching it. All calls out for a mate - we hope the Brent is here to stay.