When you were pregnant, did you ever look at your significant-other:
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- And wonder what they were thinking?
- Did you ever ask?
- When you asked, was there little in response?
- Were you frustrated?
- Did you think - this is the biggest thing to ever happen to us, and you have nothing to say - no thoughts or words to express the enormity of the situation?
- Did it ever occur to you that maybe, just maybe, internalizing was the only option?
- Feel pings of resentment towards your significant-other?
- Find yourself wishing that the baby came with an exact instruction manual?
I was only a mere 23 pages into "Faith" when I landed on these words:
And it hit me that I wasn't the only one in my own relationship that was alone with the pressure of being a new parent. This was not a new realization but I don't think that I had ever considered looking at the world through my husband's eyes in such a way. To consider that, while on a business trip -- far far away, with room service and without babies or pressure -- that he might rather the stress at home. I appreciated and found comfort in this Dad's perspective--it was like opening a trunk of secrets that revealed the simple truths of the other half.
But this isn't all.
Guidance is something that we are given throughout life. Without it, obviously and especially when sought out and not found, the results can be devastating. There are tons of hidden gems of faith and passion within this book... Written in a laid-back signature style--there is only clarity in The Faith Of A Child... Observances that, while simple, are supremely important in the massive scope of becoming and being a parent.
So, in short, I highly recommend buying, reading, dog-earring and returning to The Faith Of A Child... if not for the curiosity of "what is he thinking" but also for the reassurance of your significant-other's position and place in this world as your family grows together.
And with that.
I leave you with this...
"...And, OK, I get it.
This is how, at least one part of how,
parenthood HAS TO enlarge one's faith.
Because, for all that we pour in,
who a child becomes,
where he wanders,
what brings him,
what brings her,
and what he or she bring to life
is so far beyond our control
it is not even funny."
Stefan Lanfer blogs about fatherhood at dadtoday.com and was recently a Guest Bird here on For The Birds. The Faith of a Child and Other Stories of Becoming and Being Dad can be purchased at Amazon.com and Lulu.com.
"I can't help thinking this division of labor is not at all fair."
And it hit me that I wasn't the only one in my own relationship that was alone with the pressure of being a new parent. This was not a new realization but I don't think that I had ever considered looking at the world through my husband's eyes in such a way. To consider that, while on a business trip -- far far away, with room service and without babies or pressure -- that he might rather the stress at home. I appreciated and found comfort in this Dad's perspective--it was like opening a trunk of secrets that revealed the simple truths of the other half.
But this isn't all.
Guidance is something that we are given throughout life. Without it, obviously and especially when sought out and not found, the results can be devastating. There are tons of hidden gems of faith and passion within this book... Written in a laid-back signature style--there is only clarity in The Faith Of A Child... Observances that, while simple, are supremely important in the massive scope of becoming and being a parent.
So, in short, I highly recommend buying, reading, dog-earring and returning to The Faith Of A Child... if not for the curiosity of "what is he thinking" but also for the reassurance of your significant-other's position and place in this world as your family grows together.
And with that.
I leave you with this...
"...And, OK, I get it.
This is how, at least one part of how,
parenthood HAS TO enlarge one's faith.
Because, for all that we pour in,
who a child becomes,
where he wanders,
what brings him,
what brings her,
and what he or she bring to life
is so far beyond our control
it is not even funny."
______________________
Stefan Lanfer blogs about fatherhood at dadtoday.com and was recently a Guest Bird here on For The Birds. The Faith of a Child and Other Stories of Becoming and Being Dad can be purchased at Amazon.com and Lulu.com.
When I was preggo and looking at my husband the only thought I remember running through my head was, "Please, don't let my kids have low-knees like you."
Funny thing is, when he was looking at me he was thinking, "Please, don't let my kids have my nose."
Maybe if they had been born with either of those things (dh's low-knees or nose) we really would have said they were adopted.
i ain't going to lie...... i answered "yes" to all of those questions.. guess i should get the book, but what if i really don't give a rat's ass what he is thinking or feeling!! LOL
hmmm... have to think about this one Tina. He may just tug on those heartstrings... At first you'll be all WHAT THE F IS THIS... by the end you'll be a sobbing mush.
# Feel pings of resentment towards your significant-other?
# Find yourself wishing that the baby came with an exact instruction manual?
BIG HUGE NEON-LIGHT FLASHING yes and yes.
Have to 'fess that I am with Tina. Because not only does he go on business trips two weeks out of every month, I also go on business trips three days each month. And the condition of the house and the kids are massively different after my trips compared to his trips. There is NO division of labor in my house.
But I am willing to read the book and see whether I have misunderstood all the time he sits and leisurely reads a book while I frantically try to clean up the house so I can go to bed before midnight without having to get up at 5 am so I can clean the house before I take the commuter train to work.